


Texas Longhorn

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: When Zak Tyler’s wife is raped and murdered, Starsky and Hutch race to find the killers before the distraught widower carries out his plans for revenge.
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Texas Longhorn


    TEXAS LONGHORN
    
    Season 1, Episode 2
    
    September 17, 1975
    
    Written by: Michael Mann
    Directed by: (Claude Ennis Starrett Jr.) aka Jack Starrett
    Created by: William Blinn
    
    Summary: When Zak Tyler’s wife is raped and murdered, Starsky and Hutch race to find the killers before the distraught widower carries out his plans for revenge.   
    
    Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Med Flory ... Zack Tyler

George Loros ... Little Huey Chaco

Charles Napier ... John Brown Harris

Michael Lerner ... Fat Rolly

Ann Weldon ... Angel

Nora Denney ... Ray aka Tattoo Woman (as Dodo Denney)

Stafford Morgan ... Asst. Coroner Tom

Stefanie Auerbach ... Nurse

Al Hansen ... Sergeant

Sanford Smith ... Southerner

Alta Christopher ... Emma Lou

Bobby Hall ... Marty

Butcher Brannigan ... Wrestler
    
    
    **Exterior - Night - Deserted Road**
    
    CHACO: Hey, mister, thank you for stopping. We had some trouble with the car.
    
    TYLER: What's going on? That's okay. These folks got a little car trouble.
    I'll be right back, honey. Now, what's the problem?
    
    HARRIS: Ah, the fan belt broke on the truck.
    
    TYLER: Oh, yeah? Well, we'll have a look at it, get you going in no time. Boy, do you guys need a new truck.
    
    CHACO: Yeah.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Deserted Road/Oil Field**
    
    STARSKY: Sergeant. What was the story?
    
    SERGEANT: Some guy in an oil truck found them. Her husband was stumbling along up on the highway, out of his head. 
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Tom! Can I get a shot of that?
    
    SERGEANT: He's been released from the hospital. He's got a slight concussion. Name's Tyler. He's the big car dealer. You know, Zack Tyler? I seen him in his commercials just last night on television. His wife's name was Emma Lou.
    
    HUTCH: Did you shoot these tire tracks in front of the car?
    
    SERGEANT: Yeah. Husband said that there were two assailants: A Latino and an Anglo with tattoos. Big guys. Mid 30s.
    
    STARSKY: Thanks. A couple of regular guys.
    
    JAKE: From the cooling of the body, she died around 5 a.m.
    
    HUTCH: What have you got, Jake?
    
    JAKE: Raped. Strangled. Lacerations around the back of the neck from a chain, maybe a heavy necklace. Dan will fill you in after the post.
    
    STARSKY: Well, What do you think?
    
    HUTCH: They really gotta be coming out of the sewer. Robbery, rape and murder, all in one bundle.
    
    STARSKY: Well, we ain't gonna find them standing here.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Tyler's Office**
    
    HUTCH: Mr. Tyler? Detective Hutchinson.
    
    TYLER: Oh, glad to know you.
    
    HUTCH: This is Detective Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: Sir. 
    
    TYLER: How are you doing?
    
    HUTCH: We've been assigned to your case.
    
    TYLER: Is that what you call it?
    
    STARSKY: I'm afraid so, Mr. Tyler.
    
    TYLER: Just call me Zack, all right? Everybody else does. You boys like to sit down? 
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    HUTCH: Thank You. We were surprised that you left the hospital so soon. You okay?
    
    TYLER: Oh, yeah. I got worse bumps than that playing football. I didn't want to hang around there. Can't face going home. Yeah, the only thing I got left is right here. You know, it's funny. I keep thinking she's over in the showroom or something, and then I remember. You boys like a drink?
    
    HUTCH: No. 
    
    STARSKY: No, thank you.
    
    TYLER: I think I'll have a little touch. Okay, shoot.
    
    STARSKY: Well, Mr... Zack, we think you have a right to know. Are you aware that your wife was raped as well?
    
    TYLER: No, I didn't know that for sure.
    
    HUTCH: You want to tell us what happened?
    
    TYLER: We was driving down the road, me and Emma Lou. I seen this truck up ahead, kind of halfway blocking the road and these two guys waving at me to stop, and I did. Just as I was getting out, this other white guy put his hands on the horns on the hood of the car, you know, and that's when I seen the tattoos. I never will forget them.
    
    STARSKY: What did they look like?
    
    TYLER: All these rows of fishes down the insides of both arms with curlicues and waves, like breakers above both wrists.
    
    HUTCH: Did your wife wear a necklace?
    
    TYLER: Yeah. Did they steal that?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    TYLER: Yeah. I bought her this Indian squash-blossom necklace. Antique, you know? She just looked so cute in it. I just got it for her last week.
    
    HUTCH: You know what this is?
    
    TYLER: Yeah. Sure. That's a silver toe-piece off a $200 pair of custom-made boots.
    
    STARSKY: Two hundred dollars?
    
    TYLER: Yeah. Yeah, a man might not have a dime in his pocket, might be a millionaire and still wear the same kind of boots.
    
    STARSKY: Zack, let me ask you something. If you saw these men again, do you think you'd recognize them?
    
    TYLER: Oh, yeah. I'd recognizse them. I ain't about to forget them.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Boat Dock**
    
    CHACO: Hey, man, we made the papers!
    
    HARRIS: Yeah?
    
    CHACO: They say you're one really bad cat.
    
    HARRIS: Bad, huh?
    
    CHACO: Oh, wow. You believe this?
    
    HARRIS: What?
    
    CHACO: That girl, she was that old man's wife.
    
    HARRIS: So?
    
    CHACO: I thought she was some chick he pick up, some sugar daddy, you know what I mean?
    
    HARRIS: So who cares, man?
    
    CHACO: Hey, man, I mean a bimbo, that's one thing. But a man's wife... I mean, marriage is a sacred thing!
    
    HARRIS: You're really something, you know? You are really something else.
    
    CHACO: Hey, I don't take another man's wife!
    
    HARRIS: Now, come on, poor Chaco. Look at it this way, baby. They ain't married no more. We just gave them a divorce.
    
    CHACO: That's bad luck.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Inside the Torino**
    
    STARSKY: What you looking for?
    
    HUTCH: Toe-piece.
    
    STARSKY: You know, this is like Cinderella. We're the prince, the silver toe-piece is the glass slipper, and you and me are running all over our little kingdom looking for the dainty foot that it fits.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, Prince Charming, where do we go first?
    
    STARSKY: Well, they'd fence the necklace. How about Lenny the Glass Eye?
    
    HUTCH: No, it's too high-class for him.
    
    STARSKY: He'd be thrilled to hear you say that.
    
    HUTCH: What about Smelly Rolly? He's the lowest-class fence around. He knows everything happening in his market.
    
    STARSKY: That's where we're going, then. Smelly Rolly's Bargain Circus.
    
    HUTCH: Where's that toe-piece?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Rolly's Bargain Circus**
    
    HUTCH: Hi, Marty. You want to announce us to the merchant prince?
    
    MARTY: You better get out of here, or I'll tear your head off.
    
    STARSKY: Take a walk, Leo. Come on. Come on.
    
    ROLLY: Marty. I like you because you're so fast on your feet. You're an ace, you know? Hiya, Starsky. Hi, Hutch.
    
    STARSKY: So, Rolly?
    
    ROLLY: Business ain't so good, but like it says in the Journal, the gross national product should be up by year-end.
    
    HUTCH: Well, you'd know about anything gross, Rolly.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, look at this.
    
    HUTCH: We're looking for a necklace. Turquoise and silver. Squash blossoms. Antique. Worth about 1500 bucks.
    
    ROLLY: I didn't know you worked lost and found.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Rolly, you got any cups?
    
    HUTCH: And a couple of guys who took it off a lady. We want to ask them...
    We want to ask them a few questions.
     
    ROLLY: Yeah, so? Hey, hey, I'm a pro. I don't discuss business. You never heard of the code of the subculture?
    
    STARSKY: What? You got a club? Subculture Social Athletic Club jackets with your name? Come on, Rolly. You been around the block a few times.
    
    ROLLY: Yeah, well, I don't know anything about a necklace that some broad lost.
    Hutch, come on.
    
    HUTCH: One's a Latino and one's an Anglo with tattoos on his forearms. One wears cowboy boots with silver tips. We're talking about rape and murder one.
    
    STARSKY: If you got something we need, Rolly, we better hear it from you. Where did you get all this bizarro junk, huh?
    
    ROLLY: Come on. Be careful with that, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Hey, a snow tire. Those guys had a snow tire on their car, right? 
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. 
    
    STARSKY: It left a track. They come in pairs. Hey, maybe this one is the mate. 
    We're borrowing this one from you, okay, Rolly?
    
    HUTCH: Maybe you were with these guys, Rolly. You have an alibi for yesterday at 5 a.m.?
    
    ROLLY: Yeah, yeah, I got an alibi. I was with a lady. A very respectable married woman named Lillian.
    
    HUTCH: Lillian what?
    
    ROLLY: You know what you can do with these questions? Come on! Cut that out, 
    huh?
    
    STARSKY: I'm sorry, it slipped.
    
    ROLLY: I don't know any Puerto Rican or Anglo with tattoos, so quit busting my stuff!
    
    STARSKY: I didn't say he was a Puerto Rican. Hutch didn't say he was a Puerto Rican. You said he was a Puerto Rican. I think you know the man. 
    
    HUTCH: Now, you sit there, Rolly, and you think. You think about time, hard time, because we'll be back. And if you got what to say and aren't saying it, you're going to fall behind an accessory to murder rap. And that, my fat friend, is a 10- to 15-year wide-awake nightmare.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Rolly, don't run. Don't even walk. Just think.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Tattoo Parlor**
    
    STARSKY: Ray?
    
    RAY: Back here! Starsky and Hutch. What's good?
    
    STARSKY: Looking at you, sweetheart.
    
    RAY: What about me?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, well, you're special. We brought you something.
    
    RAY: Oh, that's really nice. 
    
    HUTCH: Where do you want me to tack it up?
    
    RAY: Anywhere, gorgeous.
    
    HUTCH: Excuse me. Hello, there.
    
    RAY: Thoughtful of you boys. That'll be 15 bucks, toots.
    
    STARSKY: That's a lot of lady.
    
    HUTCH: That's distracting. Ah, Ray, you could do something for us. We're looking for a man, about 35, Anglo, has unusual tattoos up and down his forearms. Parallel fish with curlicues on the side and the top. And then down at the wrist, big ocean-breaker waves. You ever seen a tattoo like that?
    
    RAY: No, I'd remember if I did. 
    
    STARSKY: Why?
    
    RAY: Were the fish all the same kind and there were six or eight of them?
    
    HUTCH: As far as we know.
    
    RAY: Macao is the only place tattoos like that are done.
    
    STARSKY: Where's that?
    
    HUTCH: It's a wide-open port in the China Sea.
    
    RAY: There aren't any tattoo artists from Macao around here.
    
    HUTCH: Then he'd have to do it there, wouldn't he?
    
    RAY: Would have had to.
    
    STARSKY: Well, I guess that makes one of our suspects a seafaring man.
    
    HUTCH: Come on, Hemingway. See you, Ray.
    
    STARSKY: See you, Ray.
    
    RAY: Right.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Phone Booth**
    
    HUTCH: You need a dime?
    
    STARSKY: I got a dime.
    
    HUTCH: You sure?
    
    STARSKY: I'm positive.
    
    HUTCH: All right.
    
    STARSKY: Dime. 
    
    HUTCH: Detective Services. Yeah, Stone, this is Hutch. Listen, add to that program you're running, that the Anglo was probably a sailor who laid over in Macao...
    
    STARSKY: Hey!
    
    HUTCH: One second. I'm on the phone.
    
    STARSKY: I know.
    
    HUTCH: And the Latino was a Puerto Rican. Wait a minute. What is it?
    
    STARSKY: The snow tire. Don't forget the snow tire.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. We dropped off a snow tire. Check that as the mate to the
    tire tracks we found at the scene. You got anything else for us?
    
    STARSKY: No.
    
    HUTCH: Anything else? Okay.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second. Era tu madre. 
    
    HUTCH: Your Spanish is getting better.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. Computer spit out a make yet?
    
    HUTCH: No, it's still too general. But it did turn up heroin residue in the blood analysis. Guy's a shooter.
    
    STARSKY Then they're both hypes. They come in pairs.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Rolly's Bargain Circus**
    
    ROLLY: Yeah, Huggy Bear? Yeah, this is Rolly. I want to leave a message for Starsky and Hutch, huh? Yeah, tell them I want to meet them. Privately, okay? 
    
    HUGGY: Yeah. Okay. Talk to them in private. They should meet that Fat Rolly in the zoo. Chez Huggy Bear. Hey, man, how the hell do I know? Somebody tell Sweetmeat her old man called. Close the door.
    
    HUTCH: Is that any way to talk to us, Huggy?
    
    STARSKY: You don't like daylight? It happens every 24 hours.
    
    HUGGY: Yeah, I got something against today. Linen service don't show up. No garbage collection. My bartenders don't show up. You looking at a mean mistreater.  Careful. Mean Joe Greene is a pussycat compared to this Huggy Bear.
    
    HUTCH: I'll have iced coffee.
    
    STARSKY: Make it two.
    
    HUGGY: Two iced coffees. So, what's happening?
    
    STARSKY: Looking for two hypes. Rape and murder one. One's a blond, tattoos up and down his forearms. The other one's a big Puerto Rican, wears cowboy boots.
    
    HUGGY: Starsky, you know I don't allow no rapists and such in my place.
    
    HUTCH: Have any of your respectable customers spoken of these two guys?
    
    HUGGY: You think folks come here chitchatting about any piece of mayhem they hear about?
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Huggy, you got something for us or not?
    
    HUGGY: Well, if they're hypes, I'll see what I can pick up. They must be buying their fixes from somewhere. So have no fear, Huggy Bear's info will be here. And by the way, your yo-yo called, said to come by, wanted to talk to you. Fat Rolly.
    
    STARSKY: Why the hell didn't you say so?
    
    HUGGY: Well, what do you think I just said? Hey, what's going on in the kitchen?
    
    
    **Exterior - Interior - Day - Rolly's Bargain Circus**
    
    STARSKY: What the...? Ten Sierra, 11 Harry, 1033. Disturbance at 489 North Avenue.
    
    BIG GUY: I think I'll go home now.
    
    STARSKY: Freeze! 
    
    HUTCH: All right, who are you?
    
    BIG GUY: I'm Lillian's husband.He fiddled around with Lillian. My little Lillian!
    
    STARSKY: Just stay cool, big fella, huh? Comprendo?
    
    HUTCH: I don't think Rolly's going to make it through the night. These cuffs don't fit him!
    
    STARSKY: Maybe we ought to throw a net over him.
    
    
    **Interior- Day - Dobey's Office**
    
    DOBEY: What do you think this is, a circus? You guys couldn't conduct a straight investigation if your lives depended upon it.
    
    HUTCH: Well, that's not entirely accurate. Do you have an aspirin?
    
    DOBEY: Where does this wrestler come from?
    
    STARSKY: Olympic Auditorium. It's in my report.
    
    DOBEY: Oh, yeah. About this report. It reads like a comic book. "The fiery red Torino fishtails to a halt. We spill onto the street ready for action." What is this? I'm gonna tell you again. All I want is a straight report written in English. Now why did the wrestler beat up Rolly?
    
    HUTCH: Thanks, Captain. Rolly was messing around with his wife.
    
    DOBEY: What's that got to do with those two guys?
    
    STARSKY: He knew the Latino was a Puerto Rican and Harold in the crime lab says Rolly's snow tire is the same make, size, tread and wear pattern as the
    snow-tire track at the scene. See? So that puts Rolly knowing them before it went down and giving or selling them a tire.
    
    DOBEY: You think he set it up?
    
    STARSKY: That's not Rolly's bag. But these guys fence with him regular. 
    
    HUTCH: He can identify them for us. But right now who and where they are is locked up inside Rolly's head which, at the moment, doesn't look too good.
    
    STARSKY: Captain.
    
    DOBEY: What?
    
    STARSKY: May we be excused?
    
    DOBEY: Yeah, go on, get out of here.
    
    STARSKY: Thanks.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: Hi, Zack.
    
    STARSKY: How you doing, Zack
    
    TYLER: How are you big-city cops doing, anyway, huh? Hey, how'd you like to buy this sleek little four-door sedan I got here, huh? It was previously owned by a lady of questionable repute. She only used the back seat. Let me tell you waiting around over there for news at the car lot is just awful. So I thought I'd drop by and see what was happening.
    
    STARSKY: Well, a couple of leads, Zack. Nothing positive.
    
    TYLER: When I think of them two killers walking around in broad daylight polluting up the air, free as a bird...
    
    HUTCH: We'll get them, Zack. We told you that. It'll take a little time, but we'll get them.
    
    TYLER: Yeah, I believe you will. I'm selling the car lot. Yeah, the whole kit and caboodle. Too many memories, you know? House, everything. I'm clearing out.
    
    STARSKY: Where will you go?
    
    TYLER: I don't know.
    
    HUTCH: Are you sure you're doing the right thing?
    
    TYLER: Well, I don't know, but... Well, that's my nature. A man's gotta be true to his nature.
    
    STARSKY: We'll have to get in touch with you in case we get a couple of suspects.
    
    TYLER: Yeah, well, don't you worry about that. I ain't going no place till you nail their hides to the barn door. Well, you boys need me, y'all just holler.
    
    STARSKY: Okay, Zack.
    
    TYLER: I'll be seeing you.
    
    STARSKY: Take it easy.
    
    TYLER: Yeah, you too.
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Detective Hutchinson.
    
    HUGGY: Man, that's formal. This is the proprietor Huggy Bear calling.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Huggy.
    
    HUGGY: You still want a lead on those two hypes?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, what you got?
    
    HUGGY: I made you contact with the Angel.
    
    HUTCH: The what?
    
    HUGGY: 1106 Sommars. Tell her I sent you. If they're around, she'll know them.
    
    HUTCH: Thanks, Huggy.
    
    HUGGY: You got it.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, let's go.
    
    STARSKY: Where to?
    
    HUTCH: To see an angel.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Royal Apts.**
    
    STARSKY: Anybody home? Hello?
    
    ANGEL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you. See you too, with my mind. Y'all come for the Angel?
    
    HUTCH: No. No, we didn't come to bust you.
    
    ANGEL: Oh, honey, what you looking at them old pictures for? You got a hankering for that gal? Yeah, that was 15 years ago.
    
    HUTCH: Huggy Bear sent us.
    
    ANGEL: I'm hip.
    
    HUTCH: We need to know a few things.
    
    ANGEL: Like what?
    
    STARSKY: We're looking for a couple of hypes. One's a Puerto Rican, wears cowboy boots  with silver toe-pieces. One's missing. The other's an Anglo, tattoos up and down both forearms. Mid 30s. They're both big. You seen them?
    
    ANGEL: What did they do?
    
    HUTCH: Rape, murder. For kicks.
    
    ANGEL: Young girl?
    
    HUTCH: Married.
    
    ANGEL: Now, why should I help the police force finger a couple hypes?
    
    STARSKY: I don't know. Maybe because they're giving heroin addicts a bad name.
    
    ANGEL: Oh, you're cute. Fifteen years ago, baby... Well, the Angel will tell you
    she heard a couple of hypes, junkies shooting their mouths off on cheap wine about making a score down by Terminal Island. Now, brown bread hangs around the pike at a place called Big Chuck's. White bread, I don't know what he does.
    He's a sailor. Always talking about sailing off into the sunset. _"A long way from home. A long way from home."_ See, I been to that sunset a few times.
    
    STARSKY: Take care of yourself, Angel. Be careful how you go.
    
    ANGEL: Yeah, I'll remember that. I'll remember that. I'll remember that.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Outdoor Cafe**
    
    CHACO: Best Gal in the fourth. That's the number, man.
    
    MAN: You don't know nothing. If a horse bit you, you'd think it was a hog.
    
    CHACO: You bet your money on that horse, you lose. You sick, man. 
    
    MAN: That's a donkey.
    
    CHACO: That's a donkey?
    
    MAN: Hey, Charlie. Give me one more order of French fries.
    
    CHACO: Hey, put some money on three of them.
    
    MAN: Hey, I'll put my money on three if you loan me 5.
    
    STARSKY: Congratulations, Cinderella, your foot fits the silver slipper.
    
    CHACO: I'll cut her! I'm walking out of here!
    
    STARSKY No, you're not.
    
    CHACO: I'll cut her. I'm not kidding. I'll cut her.
    
    HUTCH: I don't think so.
    
    STARSKY: No way. No way you're gonna walk out of here with a woman. 
    
    HUTCH: You so much as twitch a muscle, I'll blow your head off. Drop it.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Interrogation Room**
     
    STARSKY: How old are you? You single? You know a blond guy with tattoos? Where were you at 5 a.m., day before yesterday? Which of these three detergents do you find to be easiest on your hands? You know, you are one of the warmest, most responsive human beings I've ever had the pleasure to meet. An all-around regular fella.
    
    HUTCH: Well, Zack, that's one down, one to go.
     
    TYLER: I ain't ever seen that man before in my whole life.
    
    HUTCH: What? He says he's never seen this man before in his life.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    TYLER: I sure wish I could help you fellas, but he just ain't one of them, 
    that's all. I sure wish he was.
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    DOBEY: Now what the hell is going on? You told me you had him nailed. Now the only eyewitness swears Chaco's not the man that murdered his wife.
    
    HUTCH: Hold him anyway.
    
    DOBEY: On what?
    
    STARSKY: Reasonable cause. That's enough for murder one.
    
    DOBEY: Not on a positive non-identification.
    
    HUTCH: But we know Chaco's our man. Hold him!
    
    DOBEY: Dobey here. Oh, yeah? Good. Rolly's coming around. He'll cop out
    if we'll bargain on a plea. Rolly can nail Chaco for us. What is it with this telephone? I know I dialed the lockup. I don't want the commissary... You get off my crossed line!
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Dixon, this is Hutchinson. I want you to stall the release
    on Huey Chaco. Number 33240. He's already on the street.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Street**
    
    TYLER: Hey, there, Huey! I'm having a little trouble with my fan belt. Maybe y'all could give me a hand.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Rolly's Hospital Room**
    
    HUTCH: Let's have it fast, Rolly. Where are your friends?
    
    ROLLY: When I get a guaranteed deal. The DA's offering me diddly!
    
    HUTCH: I'll guarantee this: We make you a known fence in business with the guys
    before the murder so you're an accessory to murder.
    
    STARSKY: We tie this around you like a knot and dump you in the joint. You deal, baby, in about 10 seconds, or you got no deal. None at all!
    
    ROLLY: Hold on, huh? Give me a break!
    
    HUTCH: Time's up.
    
    ROLLY: Well, wait a minute. Wait. All right. Yeah, I'll give you their names. Little Huey Chaco and John Brown Harris. Now, you're going to give me
    conditional on the accessory, right?
    
    HUTCH: We'll try
    
    ROLLY: Okay, I fenced a couple of TVs for them, some watches, sold them a case of calculators. I sold them the tire for 5 bucks.
    
    STARSKY: Come on, Rolly!
    
    ROLLY: All right, all right. Look, I'll give you Chaco, see? He'll duke you to Harris.
    
    STARSKY: Chaco's duking us to nothing. Chaco's dead, Rolly.
    
    HUTCH: What about Harris?
    
    ROLLY: Harris? Forget it. I want to stay alive.
    
    HUTCH: Look, fatso. There's an APB out on Zack Tyler. Two witnesses identified him as the man who shot Chaco. If Tyler gets to Harris before we do, the man is dead and you've got no deal.
    
    STARSKY: Besides, you're doing him a favour. With us, the creep at least gets a trial.
     
    ROLLY: Harris sells his blood for drinking money when he's broke. He's a sailor or something like that.
    
    STARSKY: All right, where does he peddle his blood?
    
    ROLLY: Ace Medical on (indecipherable).
    
    STARSKY: Thanks a bunch, Rolly. It's always a pleasure doing business with you. 
    
    HUTCH: You're gonna love San Quentin.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Blood Donation Office**
    
    STARSKY: (outside of door) He's waiting for the mail.
    
    HUTCH: Ma'am?
    
    NURSE: You'll have to wait your turn.
    
    STARSKY: Excuse me, miss? We're not here to sell blood. We're cops. We need all ours. 
    
    HUTCH: Have you ever seen this guy?
    
    STARSKY: What are you looking at me for? Answer the man.
    
    NURSE: I don't recall.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch.
    
    HUTCH: All right, look, lady. He's got tattoos up and down his forearm, parallel rows of fishes. Tattoos. On the inside.
    
    NURSE: Oh, him. I remember him. It's easier for me to remember arms than faces.
    
    HUTCH: When was the last time he was here?
    
    NURSE: Harris. Exactly three weeks ago.
    
    HUTCH: You got an address on him?
    
    NURSE: No. A phone number. 555-6473.
    
    HUTCH: 555-6374.
    
    NURSE: 6473!
    
    HUTCH: 6473.
    
    NURSE: You get out of here!
    
    STARSKY: This machine gypped me out of a peanut bar!
    
    NURSE: Get out of here and take your nosy friend with you! I got people waiting!
    
    STARSKY: She is a vampire. Now, that's the first lady vampire I ever met.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Marina**
    
    STARSKY: According to the phone company, that should be the one.
    
    HUTCH: 555-6473. That's it. I wonder if we beat Zack here.
    
    STARSKY: Well, maybe he's come and gone.
    
    HARRIS: Morning. Help you fellas?
    
    STARSKY: Make him?
    
    (Gunfight ensues.)
    
    HUTCH: Get back! Get back!
    
    STARSKY: Get down!
    
    HUTCH: Move it, you turkey! Get down, Zack! Damn it, Zack.
    
    STARSKY: What do we do? We call for cover?
    
    HUTCH: There's no time! We gotta get to Zack!
    
    STARSKY: That thing he's in is like a tank!
    
    HUTCH: Cover me!
    
    STARSKY: This thing with machines has gotta end right here. Come on! Come on. 
    
    HUTCH: Give me your gun.
    
    STARSKY: I got it!
    
    HUTCH: I got Zack.
    
    STARSKY: Okay. You're okay. Come on!
    
    HUTCH: You! Call an ambulance! It's all right, Zack.
    
    STARSKY: Easy, boy.
    
    TYLER: What's happening?
    
    HUTCH: Don't you talk.
    
    TYLER: Did you get him?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, we got him.
    
    TYLER: Good deal.
    
    STARSKY: Why didn't you leave this alone, Zack?
    
    TYLER: Well, let me tell you a story my grandpappy told me. There's this... 
    This scorpion, see? He wanted to get across the river, but he couldn't swim. 
    And so he's trying to talk this froginto carrying him across on his back, see? And the frog knew that he couldn't swim and as long as he was in the water he wouldn't sting him, because... Because he'd die, see? He'd drown. 
    So the scorpion kept pestering him and so he said, "All right, climb onboard." And they got about halfway across the river and this scorpion... Doggone, if he didn't up and sting that frog. And the frog looked around at him, and he said: "Hey, what'd you do that for? You're gonna die too!" And the scorpion looked at him and said: "I couldn't help it." You see, that old scorpion, he's just being true to his nature, see?  Just like I'm being true to mine. Besides, with Emma Lou gone... living is a hard way to go. You know what I mean?
    
    STARSKY: You hold on, Zack. Ambulance is coming.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah?
    
    HUTCH: He's dead.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - The Pits**
    
    HUGGY: Nobody move. Fifteen in the side pocket. Hey, hey, old buddies, old pals, my ace bust them, rust thems. What's happening?
    
    STARSKY: What's wrong with you today?
    
    HUGGY: Nothing. I'm Mr. Sweetness and Light.
    
    STARSKY: That's what I mean, man. Man, you're off the wall. Yesterday you were the "mean mistreater."
    
    HUGGY: You must not be feeling too good. Let me fix you the Starsky special.
    
    HUTCH: What about me?
    
    HUGGY: Beer? One Starsky special, Diane, and one beer for the gentleman.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: Wait a sec.
    
    BIG GUY: Hello, friends, this is my little wife, Lillian and I want to thank you because we're back together again now, and I'm sorry I hit you. 
    
    HUTCH: Buy you a drink?
    
    BIG GUY: No, I'll buy. Bottle of wine. Chateau Villon-Longueville 1966.
    
    HUGGY: I'm sorry. We don't serve French. How about some Chateau Twister 1975?
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Starsky. I'm beginning to think everybody in this town is crazy except you and me. 
    
    STARSKY: Funny, I was beginning to have serious doubts about you.
    
    END
    
    


End file.
